Look for the Triumphs | Fingerprints on the Fridge

Category Archives: Look for the Triumphs

Despite my mental health issues, I’m a ridiculously optimistic person! I’ve often said: “If you can’t find a silver lining, draw one in”

These posts are about the little triumphs in life. I try to find one everyday even if I don’t write every single one down. I’ve shared my faves here with you.

Image used through Creative Commons License Courtesy of AIH

I’m finally through the toughest part of my separation struggles. The pucker-mouth-sour-lemon-puss I’ve been trying to hide behind a fake smile and a false sunny disposition is finally not fake. I took the lemons life had handed me and made me some lemon-aid.

It started in September. I know it may sound a little silly, but my mom made me a birthday cake and put only 3 candles on it (I turned 45), instructing me to make 3 little wishes. I humoured her, cause I’m still a “good girl” who does what mom says. I actually put some effort into the wishes, not the usual go-to “world peace” I use to satisfy the social convention of making birthday wishes when you’re a grown up.

Yes, the world could certainly use some peace, but frankly, at that moment, so could I. And while I’m not generally a selfish person, I decided it was my turn – after all look where being too selfless had gotten me. So, I looked out at the universe and into my own heart and asked: what do I really need right now?

I wouldn’t divulge my “wishes’ as a child for fear I’m jinxing myself, but as they’ve now all come true; I don’t see the harm.

1. To sell my house and have it close before Christmas – check!

2. To catch up on outstanding bills and to stabilize financially so I will not need to rely on anyone else for their financial support by the beginning of December – check!

3. To get promoted by January 31, 2015 – check!

In truth, I don’t believe the universe took pity on my pathetic soul and made my wishes come true. I do believe that I developed goals, created a plan to make them happen and took the steps necessary to bring them to life. And that was the difference.

Really, just a gap analysis: where am I now and where do I want to be – how will I get there? While struggling with emotion, which has never been my forte, I forgot to focus on the objective.

I’ve moved from feeling sorry for myself and pining for him, to hating him, to feeling simply contempt or disgust, to this new stage: optimism about my own future.

Liberating.

-D