Category Archives: Anxiety

This should really say mental health. I have severe anxiety, however it’s only the tip of my mental iceberg! As I thaw it out, I’ll be posting to share success or reach out for help coping.

I’m so done with being comforted

At what point do folks realize that their commiseration and information is no longer helpful? When do they take a step back and say to themselves: “Hey, by telling her what a lying, cheating, no -good guy he is; I’m constantly reminding her what a naive fool she’s been for years.”

Lately, I’ve been inundated with such helpful interactions upon hearing we’ve separated. I mean the “I’m so sorry I’ve known for a while he was cheating on you but didn’t think it was my place to tell you” type. They just jump right to it, without even asking if I had known before we split. They assume that’s why.

Folks seem to come out of the woodwork when there’s tragedy afoot. I guess it’s like a car wreck you can’t help but slow down and crane your neck to see. Only I seem to be the car wreck.

I’m so done with it. Yes. I know I was a naive fool. I know I forgave far too much for far too long. I know I should have seen the signs for years. I blindfolded myself to the evidence. I own that.

But I don’t need to hear about the affairs I was blissfully ignorant of, thank you. The two I did know about were hard enough to swallow.

It becomes hard to move on; move forward, when I feel continuously dragged back into a humiliating past.

What can one say, politely, to disengage from those tell-all anecdotes? Rather than offend these “do-gooders” who are only trying to ease their conscience, I plaster my best “this doesn’t bother me” smile on my face and try to say the kids and I are doing fine. We’re coping and looking forward to starting a new chapter. Most can’t seem to take the hint: Shut up!

But the truth is: it stings. Like a nest of wasps. And I need a salve to reduce the swelling.