I’m so glad it’s over. I can’t believe I said that. I was so excited and pumped for this on October 31st. I can’t believe I committed to it and saw it through. Well, sorta. I did not reach the glorious 50,000 words goal, for which I am disappointed in myself.
But my philosophy is “if you can’t find the silver lining, draw one in”. So, in the spirit of looking for the triumphs, I can say that NaNo taught me a few things about myself and I’d like to share them with you:
- Some stories are better left unwritten – I’ve had this story in my head since I moved out of the secured housing apartment building I lived in after I left my first husband 22 years ago. He was a really abusive jerk, thus the “ex”. Yes, it was semi-autobiographical. The pushing down the stairs and being pulled back to the apartment by the hair? Yeah, that was real. I thought I had worked through all the shit that goes with being a victim of domestic abuse and violence. I was writing to tell the stories of all the women in that safe house. Ultimately, my main character would have been shot dead by her husband. As I wrote, I relived. I stopped writing.
- I’m actually a terrible writer! – When I reread what I wrote it was terrible! I’m so sorry to have put you through that if you read it. Ugh. So juvenile. So many voices of the narrator. Hopefully, I will get better. And I will keep trying – getting published is still a dream!
- I’m not as committed to writing as I thought! – The first 10 days were bangers. I got almost 18,000 words written in the first 10 days and that was taking 2 days off entirely. When I stopped writing because it was too painful, I just stopped. I didn’t start something new (and believe me, I have lots of ideas). When it wasn’t easy – I gave up! (I’ve never done that before??!!!!)
- I should have dreamed of being an editor instead – Seriously. I just couldn’t stop going back to edit. I couldn’t let it “flow”…maybe that’s why it sucked so bad? Hmm.
- Over-Commitment = Guaranteed Failure – Particularly since this was my first NaNo, I should never have also tried to to NaBlo! Dumb, da dumb, dumb! Of course I can’t do it all!! I have a life, lol. It has to take priority and I should have know that given the crap we have going on, this was a bad idea.
All that being said, I will also add this about NaBloPoMo: I enjoyed THIS challenge immensely for a few reasons:
- I wrote at least 30 posts this month, excluding posts about my NaNovel. This means that while I epically failed NaNo, I epically succeeded at NaBlo!!
- I wrote about things I had never thought about before but was inspired to investigate. My series on GMO food production was fun to do even if it wasn’t overly popular in my stats. I learned stuff AND I got to hone my essayist skills.
- I met incredible, new people through this experience! This was by far the best reason to do it. Meeting people is incredibly hard for me. And I think I really like my new virtual pals. 🙂
- I became a better writer. So, unlike my NaNovel, which sucked, my blog post writing got better! My writing got tighter, cleaner and more readable.
- I will definitely do this again…just not while I’m also trying to do NaNoWriMo next year!!
Hope you had a great time writing your hearts out in November. It’s over now (for me, anyway, I’ve got tomorrow’s post already scheduled).