Thought to mouth filter

Sheldon and I could be best buds

My mouth has a tendency to get me into trouble.  Because of my social anxiety, i have a tendency to tune my filter on the side of “yikes” and sometimes I forget I even have a filter….good times, good times…..

Needless to say, I am regularly having inappropriate outbursts in public.

I’ve been working on a list of qualities I like about myself as an exercise in regaining my confidence of only a year ago.  I’ve discovered it’s not easy to say nice things about yourself, which is crazy ‘cos it’s so easy to say nice things about others.

As a matter of taking my “issues” in hand, I decided that instead of guessing what people find disagreeable about me, I would ask.  After all, haven’t I identified that it’s the guesswork that makes the anxiety so much worse?

Strangely, I’ve decided that as much as I don’t like those inappropriate outbursts in public, it is also part of my charm!  People appreciate the honesty they receive in those moments, even if they are honest to a fault.  Frankly, I am too honest, if there is such a thing.  Honest is good, rude is bad.  Those outbursts are most often me forgetting to frame my thoughts in a way that presents my honesty “nicely”.  Much like Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory).  Only, I know I’ve offended and often also understand how.  Thus my mortification at myself in any public situation.  🙂

So, now, it’s about accepting that aspect of myself, I guess.  It will take time, but I think I’ll get there!  (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!)  In the meantime, at least I’ve got one thing on my list!



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