Do you believe in Kharma? I do. And yes, I’m one of “those people”…the obnoxious, pseudo-intellectuals who spell it with an “h”.
For me, kharma is the heaven and hell of non-Christians. It is the threat of bad kharma that makes us behave and the promise of good kharma that makes us altruistic. Don’t get me wrong, I believe there is true altruism…heck, I think I’ve even had some myself, but in the modern age, I see more good-works-for-something-in-return mentality than true altruism.
Kharma is a chameleon though. She is never all good, nor all bad, she is fluid. She changes her appearance for the sake of the environment she has been called to visit.
I’ve been pondering my kharma lately. Don’t you love that word? “Pondering”. It’s such a lovely, roll-off-the-tongue, kind of word. I’d like to start meditating again, but I can’t stop the internal, physical humming enough to do that right now. So, pondering is about all I can muster.
So, part of the process of pondering my kharma has involved removing myself, metaphorically, and looking at myself through the eyes of an impartial bystander. Okay, granted this bystander would have to have a lot of super-top-secret-access to my life to be of any use, but still!
This is harder than you may think. Well, for you, not for me. I think I mentioned before that I’m not good with emotions so when the right circumstances come along and allow me to be emotionless, I’m all in and super happy (that’s not an emotion, is it? Oh no! Epic fail)
In my belief system, kharma isn’t a tit-for-tat deal. No, no, she’s much more colourful than that. She’s a triple-tit-for-tat! That is to say, threefold or three times. Devilish in its simplicity, really. Be a bitch? You’ll get three super bitches on your ass! Steal a cookie? Someone will steal your car! See the difference? The backlash is so much worse than the original act. Clearly, I’m being silly for the purpose of illustrating the concept.
Lately, I’ve been consumed by myself. Consumed. This would be okay if this were in the course of a self-reflective journey or other deep-thinking/self-help initiative. But it’s not. I’m simply feeling sorry for myself. Yuck. Hate when I do that. But at least I’m sick of it today. Sick. Of. It. So I’m going to stop.
I’m going to stop because I’ve had an epiphany about how feeling sorry for myself is going to shape my kharma. Even if this is totally nuts, it makes sense to me and is the trigger I needed to get off my ass, give my head a shake and move ON!
If we think of kharma as a magnetic energy (positive or negative) and we know that one of the laws of magnetism is that ‘like attracts like’…. then wouldn’t it follow that feeling sorry for myself (negative emotion) is only going to attract more negativism?
I think it will. So all those bitches who’ve been giving me the stink eye? My fault! Maybe they are responding to a “fuck you” attitude I’m exuding! Maybe, just maybe, they were giving someone else the stink eye and I only THINK it was directed at me. Okay, fault may not be the right word, but I hope you get the idea.
Today, I’m shedding this negative layer that has enveloped me for the month of September. Today is October 1st. The first of the month is always a good day to shed old habits (negativity) and start new habits (hopefully not just replacing a negative with a negative).
Come on, Kharma! Do your best!